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Hi Everyone,
First, I'm proud to say that I'm finally opening up more and learning to be more comfortable and happier in my life. I'm being more of who I want to be. But if I may, is anyone who is currently crossdressing, thinking about transitioning? MTF? or FtoM? I've been thinking about it and considering it on and off since I was twelve. Im in an environment and a place in my life now, where Im strongly considering it. Im researching, reading and learning. Ive been on and off with this since I was 12.

I just wanted to see if I'm alone in my thinking.

Hey, you only live once.
And you only get one go around .

Talk to you soon!

~Rian~
Hello Rian,

First let me begin by saying that I look up to you for your courage to even seriously consider transitioning. Yes, I have thought about it since I was at least 8 or 9 years old… thought of it in terms of my being a girl and not a boy. As I got older… into my teens and into high school, several things occurred that made me more 'fearful' of outwardly expressing my inner self. Also, the doctors, surgeons, physiologists etc. that I talked to about such things were not nearly as supportive as they are today. My biggest 'obstacle' was the fact that I prefer girls/women sexually as opposed to that of males. The physiologists that I spoke to back then were not very supportive of my being a potential closet lesbian.

So here I am now… much older… a bit wiser… and not a day goes by where I look back and do not wish that I would have had the courage to have persued transitioning.

Having said that, I am also in a better place emotionally regarding my own life/situation. I have no illusions that at my age I likely will continue to cross-dress… though much more openly now… my eldest daughter is quite supportive… along with my closest friend… but, likely it is not reasonable that I will consider all of the steps necessary for a full transition. I expect to be out on my own in the next month or two and I do plan to seek HRT drugs to soften my general appearance. Beyond that I must be truthful to you and to myself by saying that beyond that I really do not know what will lie ahead of that for me.

I do not know if any of this helps you with you own direction… but I encourage you to seek out from others that which can be offered and that will hopefully help you in your direction. I, personally, have come to a much better place after having connected to a local LGBT group and talking to like minded individuals of all ages and persuasions.

Though my visits to JC's are still on the hush-hush and still very secretive… I do look forward to my visits and plan to visit again in January. I have several outfits, still on back order, that I want to try out… and a makeup session with Roxy that I want to get pics of so that I might share more here in the forum.

Wish you well… and hugs!
Nicole
Hi Nicole,
Thank you for your response and your thoughts and story. I'm not going to say that I've been battling this, because I think that that puts a bad conotation on it. I've had feminine feelings since I was about 7 years old. And I've spent much of my life exploring, thinking, and wrestling within my head, on whether I really felt like and/or wanted to be a woman or not. And more often my answer has been "Yes, I would." Like Ive said before, I've explored crossdressing for a few years, and have done so on many occasions since.

But it's more than that. I don't think that I go by the typical male specific. I just don't feel very masculine, and Im okay with that. As far as attraction to one sex or the other, I am attracted to women and believe I would be still, if I were to transition. My biggest concern is telling my parents. Whom I believe would support me. I'm just afraid to find out for sure. Especially with the holidays right around the corner. Plus my birthday coming up in January. lol

This is all on me and I know that. I just know how I feel, and I better do something about this, before its too late to do anything at all.

Thank you again for your thoughts. :-)