Janet's Closet Forum

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Hello, so here I am. I have been wearing fem clothes, mostly lingerie, for quite sometime. But always closeted. I have shopped and purged many times.

I have very little fem clothing currently but love what I have. I have been adding fake boobs, water balloons and even made a crude gaff so I can tuck away my man bits.
I always feel so sexy and excited when I am dressed.

I am married and my wife has no clue. 

I have been getting stronger urges to dress more frequently. I want to try wearing makeup, wigs, heels and real breast forms. 

Anyway, I found this forum and decided to join up. I'm so torn...I want to dress as a girl but don't k ow if I can tell my wife and family.
Welcome to the forum! You touch on many subjects and some which are very difficult indeed. Either way there's a wide variety of girls here at various stages in their feminine lives, and no matter what else is going on at least here you can be the beautiful woman you feel you are inside.

So many of us have gone through the buy and purge cycle, and the desire, the NEED always seems to get stronger the older we get, for whatever reason.

Bringing this up with a spouse is the most difficult thing to do I think, beats out employers too, as one can get another job, but your wife well that's different.
It seems to be difficult to predict how a wife is going to react, some seem to be really cool with and can embrace your feminine persona as a special girlfriend, then as her man what she needs or wants him.

I will not give you any real advice on that except for this. You could try to sounds her out by mentioning a MtF trans or crossdressing person either as someone at work, or that you read or saw something about in the media and judge her reaction. There are also quite a number of films with characters who crossdress and you could try to engineer a screening of one of them. A couple which come to mind off the top of my head (wig) are "The Danish Girl, and "The Crying Game", not too mention "Tootsie" which is a bit more mainstream.
Amy
Welcome to the family doozer!

You've brought up some very important, life-changing issues in your post. In my personal experience, and from what I've read from others, revealing one's inner girl is a 20/80 proposition, with the odds NOT in your favour!  Despite numerous posts on various sites about wives who not only accept, but encourage a mate's crossdressing, I feel that is a fantasy.

A woman marries a man, BECAUSE he is a man, he is the yin to her yang, her strength and centre, as she is to him.

I was married to a wonderful woman, and the mother of our child, for 29 years.  I always imagined growing old with her and dying with her by my side.  

Sadly, she couldn't accept my transition, and we divorced.  We are now very good friends, and we still love each other, but not in the way it was.  The funny/sad thing is that she was attracted to me because of my softer side; my compassion, my understanding, my ability to listen, and my willingness to help around the house.  

The ultimate "Carch-22", is that if you reveal yourself at the beginning of a relationship, that relationship will die.  If you conceal your inner feelings, and she ultimately finds out, you are accused of deceiving her, and the relationship MAY end.

As to purging, DON'T!  All you are doing is wasting your money, and enduring regret when you cannot replace that 'favourite' item!
I do concur with Jodie, and it's the Pandora''s Box, once out you can't put it back. My wife is cool with my dressing, but if I wanted to actually transition she's told me that would be a bridge too far.

Some friends of mine are married with their wives as full participants in their femme lives, but this certainly isn't a common thing. Then another very good friend here finally told the wife after 30 years or so of marriage and it was the hiding it from her all those years which caused to hurt, not that "he" liked to dress as "she".

They are still together after about 4 years, so they've made it work.

The other things to consider which I've had mentioned is the competition thing. Your wife perhaps likes to think of herself as the alfa female, then you dress up and especially if you can be prettier than she is, not only are you the alfa male, but the female too.

Just extra observations I've had. People are complex animals and every relationship is a bit different. Some wives know, but are content to know and let you have some time as the woman you feel you need to be, the Don't Ask, Don't Tell thing.
Amy
Thanks for your encouraging words. I do love my wife and I don't want our marriage to end. I'm thinking it would not go well if I were to come out to her.

That said, I have the huge desire to address...and dress...my feminine side. It just feels so good and so right when I am dressed.[attachment=3500]
Looking nice and sexy there Doozer!
(07-20-2022, 05:43 PM)JodieLynne Wrote: [ -> ]Welcome to the family doozer!

You've brought up some very important, life-changing issues in your post. In my personal experience, and from what I've read from others, revealing one's inner girl is a 20/80 proposition, with the odds NOT in your favour!  Despite numerous posts on various sites about wives who not only accept, but encourage a mate's crossdressing, I feel that is a fantasy.

A woman marries a man, BECAUSE he is a man, he is the yin to her yang, her strength and centre, as she is to him.

I was married to a wonderful woman, and the mother of our child, for 29 years.  I always imagined growing old with her and dying with her by my side.  

Sadly, she couldn't accept my transition, and we divorced.  We are now very good friends, and we still love each other, but not in the way it was.  The funny/sad thing is that she was attracted to me because of my softer side; my compassion, my understanding, my ability to listen, and my willingness to help around the house.  

The ultimate "Carch-22", is that if you reveal yourself at the beginning of a relationship, that relationship will die.  If you conceal your inner feelings, and she ultimately finds out, you are accused of deceiving her, and the relationship MAY end.

As to purging, DON'T!  All you are doing is wasting your money, and enduring regret when you cannot replace that 'favourite' item!

That is good advice Jodie! I read of a couple of bad reveals not that long ago. Something to be careful with. As for the clothes, my inventory is way too much. I can afford to purge. So that wasn’t much. Rolleyes

Hugs
Sara
Welcome to the forum! You look sexy
Sara, when most folk refer to purging, they mean that they've dumped everything, lock, stock, and barrel, in order to suppress or eliminate their girl side.  NOT to make more room in the closet for more girly stuff!  LOL

When the urge, the NEED to dress again arises, many who purge regret getting rid of that favourite dress, skirt, heels, wig, etc.  And often, they cannot find a replacement for that favourite item, since clothing & shoe fashions are constantly changing.

Jodie
(07-25-2022, 02:23 PM)JodieLynne Wrote: [ -> ]Sara, when most folk refer to purging, they mean that they've dumped everything, lock, stock, and barrel, in order to suppress or eliminate their girl side.  NOT to make more room in the closet for more girly stuff!  LOL

When the urge, the NEED to dress again arises, many who purge regret getting rid of that favourite dress, skirt, heels, wig, etc.  And often, they cannot find a replacement for that favourite item, since clothing & shoe fashions are constantly changing.

Jodie
Blush