Janet's Closet Forum

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Hi everyone.....my name is Lindsey, and I am a really cute guy who loves to dress up like a girl.  I'm so frustrated with it at this point.  I first realized I liked girls clothes when I was a kid and I have indulged it on and off throughout my life.  Mostly off.  I have never truly let myself go and most of my experiences have been with random articles of clothing here and there.  I have never dressed with anyone else or gone out dressed. It actually wasn't till just a couple years ago that I finally did the whole thing, wig, makeup, outfits, shoes, all of it.  I absolutely gushed at what I saw in the mirror.  It was amazing.  

I wish could say it was great from there on out.  I only dressed fully a handful of times and then I tossed everything.  Again.  That has been the cycle my whole life.  I struggle with a strange sort of guilt and I am always "starting over".  I'll collect a few things to wear, have some fun for awhile, then get rid of the stuff.  I have been to Janets a few times, I haven't been there in a long time.  Each time I felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest!  I was terrified, and at the same time in heaven, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, for me to even post this is kind of a big deal.  I know I am not the only one to ever be where I am at with it. I would love to hear if anyone has any similar experiences or thoughts.  Thanks for reading! - Lindsey
(02-22-2023, 09:06 PM)Pink Lindsey Wrote: [ -> ]Hi everyone.....my name is Lindsey, and I am a really cute guy who loves to dress up like a girl.  I'm so frustrated with it at this point.  I first realized I liked girls clothes when I was a kid and I have indulged it on and off throughout my life.  Mostly off.  I have never truly let myself go and most of my experiences have been with random articles of clothing here and there.  I have never dressed with anyone else or gone out dressed. It actually wasn't till just a couple years ago that I finally did the whole thing, wig, makeup, outfits, shoes, all of it.  I absolutely gushed at what I saw in the mirror.  It was amazing.  

I wish could say it was great from there on out.  I only dressed fully a handful of times and then I tossed everything.  Again.  That has been the cycle my whole life.  I struggle with a strange sort of guilt and I am always "starting over".  I'll collect a few things to wear, have some fun for awhile, then get rid of the stuff.  I have been to Janets a few times, I haven't been there in a long time.  Each time I felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest!  I was terrified, and at the same time in heaven, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, for me to even post this is kind of a big deal.  I know I am not the only one to ever be where I am at with it. I would love to hear if anyone has any similar experiences or thoughts.  Thanks for reading! - Lindsey
Hello Lindsey 

Reading your story ,  I can say for myself that know exactly how you feel.  I had a small femme clothes and just like you were saying, I ended donating or just plain throwing them out. After a while the desire and urge came back, in so did my clothing came back as well. Like a ghost from the past  but for me it wasn't too distant.
(02-22-2023, 09:06 PM)Pink Lindsey Wrote: [ -> ]Hi everyone.....my name is Lindsey, and I am a really cute guy who loves to dress up like a girl.  I'm so frustrated with it at this point.  I first realized I liked girls clothes when I was a kid and I have indulged it on and off throughout my life.  Mostly off.  I have never truly let myself go and most of my experiences have been with random articles of clothing here and there.  I have never dressed with anyone else or gone out dressed. It actually wasn't till just a couple years ago that I finally did the whole thing, wig, makeup, outfits, shoes, all of it.  I absolutely gushed at what I saw in the mirror.  It was amazing.  

I wish could say it was great from there on out.  I only dressed fully a handful of times and then I tossed everything.  Again.  That has been the cycle my whole life.  I struggle with a strange sort of guilt and I am always "starting over".  I'll collect a few things to wear, have some fun for awhile, then get rid of the stuff.  I have been to Janets a few times, I haven't been there in a long time.  Each time I felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest!  I was terrified, and at the same time in heaven, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, for me to even post this is kind of a big deal.  I know I am not the only one to ever be where I am at with it. I would love to hear if anyone has any similar experiences or thoughts.  Thanks for reading! - Lindsey

Lindsey;
  I can relate to a lot of what you have gone through, though for some reason I haven't found myself going through the binge and purge kind of cycles so many others have. However, that doesn't mean I haven't struggled with guilt and shame, and repressed this for so much of my life.
 As so many others I started 12 or so, and soon I will be 70! It was only the last very years that I've become comfortable with my dual gender nature, as I still don't feel like I want to be a woman full time, ie, to transition.
 It is so wonderful to fully dress up, and like you I was almost overwhelmed with emotion. In my case I was able to connect with other CDs and some TG's in my area who gave me support and I finally am able to accept myself, but it has been a long road!
 Chat with me anytime.
 Amy
(02-24-2023, 06:30 PM)CanuckGirl Wrote: [ -> ]
(02-22-2023, 09:06 PM)Pink Lindsey Wrote: [ -> ]Hi everyone.....my name is Lindsey, and I am a really cute guy who loves to dress up like a girl.  I'm so frustrated with it at this point.  I first realized I liked girls clothes when I was a kid and I have indulged it on and off throughout my life.  Mostly off.  I have never truly let myself go and most of my experiences have been with random articles of clothing here and there.  I have never dressed with anyone else or gone out dressed. It actually wasn't till just a couple years ago that I finally did the whole thing, wig, makeup, outfits, shoes, all of it.  I absolutely gushed at what I saw in the mirror.  It was amazing.  

I wish could say it was great from there on out.  I only dressed fully a handful of times and then I tossed everything.  Again.  That has been the cycle my whole life.  I struggle with a strange sort of guilt and I am always "starting over".  I'll collect a few things to wear, have some fun for awhile, then get rid of the stuff.  I have been to Janets a few times, I haven't been there in a long time.  Each time I felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest!  I was terrified, and at the same time in heaven, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, for me to even post this is kind of a big deal.  I know I am not the only one to ever be where I am at with it. I would love to hear if anyone has any similar experiences or thoughts.  Thanks for reading! - Lindsey

Lindsey;
  I can relate to a lot of what you have gone through, though for some reason I haven't found myself going through the binge and purge kind of cycles so many others have. However, that doesn't mean I haven't struggled with guilt and shame, and repressed this for so much of my life.
 As so many others I started 12 or so, and soon I will be 70! It was only the last very years that I've become comfortable with my dual gender nature, as I still don't feel like I want to be a woman full time, ie, to transition.
 It is so wonderful to fully dress up, and like you I was almost overwhelmed with emotion. In my case I was able to connect with other CDs and some TG's in my area who gave me support and I finally am able to accept myself, but it has been a long road!
 Chat with me anytime.
 Amy

Hey Yeah Lindsey right there with you.I guess its probably the same for alot of Us.Until I started reading this forum and what you Gurls go through is the same for me its like your telling my story.

Hey Yeah Lindsey right there with you.I guess its probably the same for alot of Us.Until I started reading this forum and what you Gurls go through is the same for me its like your telling my story.
Lindsey - I guess I would say you are lucky on many fronts - first off - sounds like you could be very passable. If that were the case with myself......I think I would go out dressed way more often. I haven't accepted myself that way yet. But, I do love to dress fully! All the way is the best. I have even had a couple makeovers.......which ... when the makeup is applied correctly helps a lot.

and it doesn't sound like you have a significant other at this point......which can really make it more complicated.

I wish you the best with this! I truly do! I love it!

Heather in Minneapolis! Chilly Minneapolis today!