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about the impression I make...
... in my regular closeted life.

To start off, since my transformation I was surprised and delighted to experience a continuation of the Kelly mindset into my daily life. The rush of excitement and sense of identity that was so wonderful when I saw myself in the mirror in the clothes and makeup Roxy helped me get into...this persisted for days into my normal non-Kelly life.

For one thing, I found myself sitting more erect and I realized this is because I wanted my bust to look better (even though the breast forms and bra were in a drawer at home!) I found myself simply feeling more in tune with my physical body, and this extended into my mental state. I was just happier and more confident because I know inside I am Kelly.

Today I revisit a question I have asked in here before: do others see this, is there a noticeable change in my demeanor? Today the question is more I seem more like what others think I am supposed to be? This is hard to convey, but one way to express it is that I felt perhaps I am less weird lately, and perhaps others are thinking that I just seem more of a normal man.

I am not sure I am expressing this idea clearly...I hope somehow it gets through. As I feel more like Kelly (which in my head means more a woman), the people I work with are sensing that I am more normal, more of the male that my clothing and name signify.

This focus on "normal" versus "weird" arises from a recent realization that people have always seen me as a bit odd, weird, strange. I know this because there have always been moments in each stage of my life when someone would blurt out what they really feel, and that was always something about how weird or different I am.

Now that I am in touch with my inner Kelly, and going around feeling more comfortable in my skin, other people are seeing this and assuming that I am less weird, less strange, more like a normal MAN!

Wouldn't it be hilarious if this is what is really going on?
Just say as I do: I'm me and I feel free! As you know my avatar is me and that pic is posted on my FB with that caption. I posted that to let everyone know that Jackie is the real and true me. I too feel more normal and people that I work with that don't know Jackie (yet) have noticed that I'm a lot more conversational, happier and have more energy and spunk. I shed an old skin and now the girl in me is out and free. I know you're starting to realize your true feelings so become Kelly. I know this won't and can't happen overnight but eventually you'll find yourself and let Kelly out and say "I'm me and I feel free!" The girl of your dreams lives inside you.
Perhaps, Kelly, the fact that you feel more comfortable as Kelly, allows your Male counterpart a relief from the stress of hiding Kelly. And, as you stated, you are standing straighter, and feeling more confident about yourself ( in both modes). Perhaps, that increased sense of self worth is what your co-workers are discovering. How we feel about ourselves, is often projected in our demeanor, stature and speech patterns, which others pick up.

Whatever the reason, I feel that it a great outcome!
It is indeed super great...and I realize it's just the tiniest step on a big journey. It might also be a hallucination...but no matter...I'm going on to see what's next...

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