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Hello from Toni G.
Hi, from Toni G.  Suppose that I have been crossdressing on and off since the late 70s. Outside excursions were in the backyard and such. Did stop for a while while married during the 80s -90s.  Allways had the desire to dress-up inside me-it never went away. Would occasionally collect wardrobe items and stuff, but would discard it when having to move somewhere-to keep them from being discovered. Would have quite a wardrobe now if I had saved all of it!! Style preference has been conservative, mostly knee-length dresses and skirts. Average-looking tops, no party-stuff. Getting back into this in a more serious vein-looking at quality silicone forms,along with the foams that I have on right now. As I type this ,have a new Red slvls Top,with a lace-covered knee-length Black Skirt, and Bandolino Ankle-Strap Sandals-all obtained from the goodwill store across the street. With Bra,Panties,Nylons, and my jewelry on-feels Fantastic. All these yrs later, and still cannot explain why this feels so good. As an older Girl with allergies and eye problems,tend not to do the full eye-makeup thing. So I use large-framed tinted or sunglasses over my eyes. Having to use eyedrops frequently does not do well with eye makeup. Have been "passable" enough on several occasions. Did surprise the whogeebers out of folks in the drugstore across the street-asked if I had my store card and I spoke up. Interesting reactions.. So glad to find Janets site.will be making some purchases as finances allow. Thanks for the opportunity to share some. Time to practice more in my new 3.5 in bandolinos-have not walked in this height for a while. And they look Hot with my Black Skirt. Blessings, Toni G.
@Toni G.:

Hello Tony and welcome to the forum! Reading your post, i can relate in some areas to some degree, and provide additional information for the rest.

"Outside excursions were in the backyard and such."

-Back in my 20's, i had me a few "outside excursions" you can say. I NEVER went out in public view, but had my ways and for various reasons. All of which i would feel terribly embarrassed sharing so i will leave it at that lol. It wasn't bad experiences or anything it Tiffany!

"Allways had the desire to dress-up inside me-it never went away."

-Yeah...i KNOW the feeling! That feeling is something that just cannot never ever go away! I had a sexual encounter with this one guy 1.7 years ago in my room. He has a pantyhose fetish, LOVEs everything pantyhose and tights, and a CD, but NOT a full pledged CD like myself (transformation and all the works). It was his first time meeting another for some "fun". As i too am a CD and i DO also have a pantyhose fetish myself lol. After we had "fun", we talked as we chilled in the bed. He was curious about this and that, all things in such an area. He is actually a few years younger than i. One thing i expressed to him that the desire, the feeling, is like having a monkey on your back. When it hits NEVER STOPS till to satisfy it, as in dressing up! The longer you ignore it, the worse it gets. And sure 'nuff, he contacted me a couple months later to tell me i was right lol. He lives a VERY busy life and tries to indulge in his interests when he can, which is rare for him. He wants to get with me again sometime soon, but he needs to make the time for me, which is hard as hell for him. I would like to meet him again. Not only just for "playtime", but to also talk more about this and that, like last time. I don't think he is developing, though i am sure he would probably like to but can't.

This STRONG desire, this feeling you speak of also haunts me too. Well...not so much anymore. I dress up when i feel like it and at ANYTIME. Several years ago, the desire would hit me and i would have to put it on standby. Everytime i kept putting this desire in standby, it would get worse, eating at me virtually everyday. I am a crossdresser for life! There is no if an's or but's about it! For me to NOT give in to this desire would probably drive me into insanity! And i honestly think NO head shrink could ever "fix" me, not that my desires are even "mental" in the first place. Everyone has their own viewpoints on this topic, such a desire being classified as a mental disorder.  I KNOW how it ALL started out for me from the VERY BEGINNING. But this is intel i choose to keep to myself. MAYBE one day i will share my real life story of how Tiffany can to be today, from the past. Will see.

"Would occasionally collect wardrobe items and stuff, but would discard it when having to move somewhere-to keep them from being discovered."

-So i guess you can say you purged? I have purged 3 or 4 times in my life, and to this day, regretted it all! Purging is the WORST! Some gurls purge for a whole number of reasons, all of mine, except for one, were very valid reasons. One reason was i thought for sure i was going to die and didn't want to leave behind such things for family\relatives to uncover and know about my feminine side. So i was worried about this and purged everything i had. Another reason was i wanted to quit being a CD, to put an end to it all and never look back. Well...that didn't work out so well as you can see now lol. I think i lasted ALMOST a whole year. As that desire snuck up on me and ate at me ALOT, so i gave in to it and LOVED it! No matter what the reason, unless i end up being homeless and have no choice but to purge, i will NEVER purge EVER again! I have permanently lost some VERY GOOD articles of women's clothing i can never get back again. One in particular, a one piece swimsuit. Not too also mention the amount of money i spent into such purged collections. We are talking several hundreds of dollars per purge. Now, i have amassed a collection so expensive and so much, i am in the thousands! And i WILL NOT PURGE this shit! Give me a babydoll or give me death lol! Back when i had girlfriends (females), i hid my stuff. Fortunately for me they respected my commands. They never went snooping around and made a discovery. My last girlfriend i had for 4 years till i had to get rid of her, LONG ASS story. She NEVER knew about the stuff i was into. And this was 1 year before i discovered JC and this forum. Currently, i am single. Have been for awhile. Though it would be nice to have a girlfriend, i am bi-sexual, i am not actively searching for one. I guess you can say i gave up on bitch's. Finding that perfect bitch is virtually impossible.

"Style preference has been conservative"

-My style perferences are elegant\classy and cute\sexy. Conservative is NOT my style.

"goodwill store across the street"

-Once in a VERY GREAT WHILE i will actually shop at a few 2nd hand shops to see if they have anything to my liking. You would be surprised what you can come across! I have bought a few things over the past few years. I would say my most recent buy was this cute as fuck black see through printed top that is so fucking sexy i swear! It is just long enough to be dubbed a super short mini dress. It's SUPER fucking HOT! I LOVE it! I enjoy wearing it with a pair of silky sheer black pantyhose. Perhaps one day soon i should snap a few pics of it and post it in my MAIN thread "Hello, I'm Tiffany!" and you can check it out for yourself. I think i paid $6 or less for it. I should make some trips to some 2nd hand shops soon. It has been almost 2 years since i been to any.

"Did surprise the whogeebers out of folks in the drugstore across the street-asked if I had my store card and I spoke up. Interesting reactions.."

-LOL! I am sure! They probably had this look on their face like "WTF!?" You look like a female but sound like a guy......? When i am out fully transformed on my outings, i sound like a guy 100% all the time. I don't care. But this time around, on my very near future planned outing, i am going to try to sound feminine when i speak 100% of the time. Provided of course i sound good enough. I have NO ONE to test on. But will see.

Tnx Tiffany. Did have instances when almost discovered.Then I would purge of the stuff. Then seems like would find myself "shopping" again-internet was not around yet. Does make it easier now. If I still had everything-could open a clothing store. Prob will not ever do the full-transformation-thing/tgirl/bi thing, as that is not where I'm at. Very conservative seasoned citizen, so will be satisfied to be "passable" once and a while. Whether I get any "lookers" kinda doesn't matter anymore. Age and abilities have made pantyhose difficult, so just do thigh-higs, or knee-highs with my Black Dress Pants and sexy tops. Have a Black Dress from the thrift store that I'm looking forward to wearing out. Have found Janets videos and info helpful So many things to get/replace on limited budget. When I can figure out how-may post some photos. Toni G.

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