Thread Rating:
  • 2 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
New, nervous, and confused
#2
Well, Kimber that's a difficult question to answer. I'll give you my take on it.
First, this is usually something which is inside us from a young age, often we don't realize it though. I know I didn't. There are some who are truly trans gender and always feel they have been in the wrong body, but that's not me. I do have a definite feminine personality who has made her presence known even more in the last few years. I have always dressed up in lingerie from time to time since I was about 12, but as far back as the 90's I'd thought about doing more. The whole nine yards as it were. Nice clothes, makeup, even going out, but I kept a lid on that desire, and still just dressed up from time to time, slowly getting more things. But really not that much stuff.
Through this my wife knew about my little fetish(?), but then 2-3 years ago when I had something like you have described, I suddenly went whole hog, and like you down the rabbit hole in a big way. For reference, I'm in my mid 60's.
She had to come to grips with that, took a bit of time, but she is good with it now, and helps me shop, and with those pesky long back zippers too!

Also, so many of us go through purges. We buy a lot of clothes, shoes, etc., then decide to give it up, sometimes due to outside pressures like from a spouse, other times out of guilt, etc. Then throw it all away! Later on "she" is back, even stronger now and then the buying spree happens all over again, but usually more than ever before.
This is sometimes called the "pink fog", and it seems to wax and wane in many of us too.

I have never really done a purge, because I never really got as far into this as I wanted to, back then.

So it was quite scary and troubling as I felt myself being drawn further and further into being femme. At this point I have a balance and have made peace with my male and female sides. Mostly anyway. I want to be more open about this, and am no longer ashamed of it, like this is a dirty little secret to be hidden.

The other thing is that this need seems to get stronger as we age, whether it is due to hormone changes in out body, or what I have never heard a good explanation.

Sharing with a wife is difficult. Some women seem to be able to embrace us when we show our feminine side, others can't seem to handle it at all. One way is to watch a movie, or somehow bring gender fluid people into a conversation and she how she reacts. This might be a bit premature for you, as you said you haven't even dressed up yet. The other thing is that wives will often assume you are suddenly gay, or at least bi, as that is image crossdressing men have in popular culture. For sure some are, but so many others are still their hetro self, and if you fall into that catagory, you need to make sure she understands that.
Like I said, you might not be ready for that.

See how you feel when you get your clothes. Some of us get hghly aroused wearing women's clothes, others don't. You might feel a sense of peace and contenment when dressed up that you have never felt before, some feel a lot of guilt after satisfying oneself. We are all taught that "boys don't wear girls clothes", or something like that, so it takes a lot of re-conditioning to get over that.
There are no real hard and fast rules, which makes it difficult, as we are all a bit different, and our relationships are all unique too.
I hope your new purchases work out well for you!
Any questions, just ask me.
Hope this helps.
Amy
Reply


Messages In This Thread
New, nervous, and confused - by Kimber - 02-15-2021, 07:32 PM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by CanuckGirl - 02-15-2021, 08:26 PM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by Kimber - 02-15-2021, 08:40 PM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by CanuckGirl - 02-15-2021, 09:48 PM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by boots66 - 02-16-2021, 04:57 AM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by Tami - 02-16-2021, 01:10 PM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by Kimber - 02-16-2021, 08:02 PM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by Bernice - 02-16-2021, 10:29 PM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by JodieLynne - 02-17-2021, 03:23 AM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by Kimber - 02-17-2021, 08:25 AM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by Kimber - 02-24-2021, 11:16 AM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by CanuckGirl - 02-24-2021, 05:28 PM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by Kimber - 03-02-2021, 09:57 PM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by curvimarci - 03-06-2021, 12:42 AM
RE: New, nervous, and confused - by CanuckGirl - 03-06-2021, 04:49 PM

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)