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Working toward my true self
Hi everyone, my name is Allena and I'm slowly and cautiously finding my true self. I would truly love to be the girl I feel inside me but due to my life as of now it's a very guarded journey. I buy bras, panties etc every chance I get when out of town working, only to throw them away so I don't get caught. I would love to have a girlfriend I could talk to and share my thoughts and dreams. One last thing, is it normal for me to feel scared, aroused and excited when I purchase my things, I always feel someone is watching me, then my heart flutters and I calm down once I put on a bra and a pair of panties
Hi there Allena!
I'm Amy, the moderator here, and welcome to the forum. We have a small but a very lovely and supportive group of girls here.

Though in my own life I am very much "out there" with my femme persona to many in my life and also do a bit of drag, I'm still not full time. There are a few in my extended family who have made comments which seem to indicate a lack of tolerance and understanding of gender issues, plus I have another side which is very male dominated.
My wife knows and is supportive, though she has made it clear she still wants her husband most of the time, so I'm maybe 75/25 male/female.

Your feelings are pretty normal. I know I have gone through a lot of the same things that you have described, and in talking to a large number of other girls we tend to take a similar path.

Some find dressing up extremely arousing and that is part of the experience for some but not all!

My early in person purchases were totally terrifying for me! However, if you've read some of Suzy's experiences and mine to a lesser extent, the sales clerks are all great.
Like so many others I also shop online, but I prefer to shop in person that way you can make sure the material and fit is to your liking. When in drab I used to say I was shopping for my wife, but now I simply say I'm shopping for myself, and the staff in stories have been without exception fabulous, whether or not I'm a regular. The other revelation is that fellow female shoppers rarely notice a man looking around and buying things in woman's wear store.

One evening last Jan I went into a Forever 21 store to look at and perhaps try on a couple of dresses. Turned out I didn't buy the one I thought I'd like, but the sales lady kept bringing me dress after dress to try on! She also wanted to see me in them, so I dutifully came out of the fitting room.
Of course I bought a couple that night and went back the next week and bought another! It is a truly wonderful and lovely experience trying on all these beautiful clothes! This is something I think is unique in the feminine world.

If you wish to discuss off of the public forum just PM me. I hope that this info has been useful to you.
Hey girl welcome to the family. We've all been there at some point in our journey. I still get all nervous and shy about buying stuff in person. Its all part of the journey. We all progress at different rates and honestly if it were'nt for finding Janets and all the girls in the forum I'd probably still be nervous about Harley. But with all the support Ive gotten from Amy and the rest of the girls Harley has blossomed and I feel more comfortable and confident when Im Harley. Ive purged God only knows how many times and now its come to honestly I feel as though I shouldda honestly been born a girl. Its an amazing journey with the right support group behind you. You can never have to many friends/sisters/girlfriends to boost how you feel as you feminine self. Everyone here is amazing. It took me quite a bit to post pics with my face inem but now its all in no holds barred. We got ya sis trust us we get it we totally understand

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